1. Start with three short questions
The easiest way to start a conversation with a stranger is to ask a series of three simple questions that will put her in her place: “What are you drinking? What are you doing for dinner? What time is it?” Do this three times and she’ll probably fire off a series of answers you can write in your notebook and learn from later in the conversation.
2. Be a good listener
Ask open-ended questions so you can enjoy the conversation, and encourage her to talk. She’ll feel really comfortable, and it’ll come across in her conversation. If the conversation turns into too much, limit your time with her to 10 to 15 minutes. When you’re finished, get up from the table and walk away. Tell her she’s doing a good job, give her a hug, and keep going.
3. Get your phone out
For the next 10 minutes, you can either act like a total weirdo or make an effort to look just like everybody else. “Dude, check this out,” is good. “That’s so cool!” is better. Also, get your phone out because even though people are talking to you, they’re also checking their phones.
4. Close your laptop
The last thing you want to do is be someone who still has a hard time speaking to people at a dinner table. You might not be able to get all your texting done or catch up on your email, but there’s no reason you have to be a hypocrite in front of a girl you like. Shut your laptop, and keep your mind open for the dinner conversation to come.
5. Don’t quote famous people
While you are a culture studies major, don’t quote their most famous movie quotes at your first dinner. You’ll look like a douche. Unless she’s a geek too, of course.
6. Watch your language
Yes, your first date is supposed to be flirty, but still, there’s a time and a place for that. When in doubt, don’t use cuss words, and, if she does, don’t use her word for it. If you don’t know what the word for it is, use a different word.
7. Don’t be a vegetarian
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How to get past initial conversation and the awkwardness that follows
There are a few ways you can improve your chances of getting a date. Ask someone out, go to a social event, and meet people at your school or work. If you need a little more motivation, here are several ways you can improve your dating skills and ultimately find that special someone.
The art of the first date
Okay, so you’ve asked out a cute girl at your school, or met a guy at your office or in a networking event. Now what? How do you go from there to the first real date? Below are some tips to get you started.
Step 1: Don’t overthink it
Unlike our parents who overanalyze everything—from the food we eat to the text messages we send, it’s easy to get so caught up in the minutiae of dating that we forget to enjoy the process. So just because the beer is cold doesn’t mean you should make a move on a stranger. It’s easy to get the jitters, but no one wants to date a shrinking violet.
Step 2: Ask her out
First, remember that the only way you can ask someone out is if you’ve made an impression on them. If you’re just a normal guy with a weird name who looks like one of the people from that one vampire movie you saw in fifth grade, get the hint: It’s going to be a long few months. What you want to do is make a name for yourself by being a man who is not only attentive but has some intriguing qualities that make the woman want to jump in your pants, or at least get to know you better. If you don’t have the time, skills, or charisma to do that, don’t sweat it—you’ll find a woman at your local Dave & Busters soon enough.
Step 3: Dress like a man
If you’re nervous about what to wear, it’s really as simple as picking a couple of classic options—jacket, button up shirt, slacks, and maybe a nice tie. The reason for this is that it makes you look more professional and more ready for a date. If you’re too clueless to ask a girl out and don’t want to talk to her friends or parents to plan a date, go to your local mall and find a sports team store. That’s what you’re going to look like in a year: a short, fat kid.
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