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You’ve worked hard on your appearance, and you can mingle successfully, but you still get the heart-pounding butterflies when you go out. The Internet has made dating much easier than ever, but there’s still no substitute for a human being. Don’t let fear ruin your chances of meeting the right person. And remember, that guy you hate at work isn’t going to become the love of your life. Here are some tips to get you out there and keep you relaxed. Learn to Dodge the Danger Zone Try to avoid starting up a conversation with people you don’t know well. There’s a good chance they don’t like small talk, and it’s important to strike up a conversation with someone you find attractive before you make yourself vulnerable. I have a friend who once got into a conversation with a woman at a bar because he liked the color of her eyes. She ended up asking about his family, so he told her a little bit about himself—and they ended up going home together. It was a good lesson, because sometimes you can’t get too close to someone until you really know them. I’d recommend starting things off with activities you both have in common—what do you like to do? What’s your favorite vacation spot?—before moving to the personal stuff. Don’t be too eager to participate in a conversation. If someone engages you in a conversation, be responsive and listen closely. But don’t stick around for more than a couple of minutes. If the guy you like on the first date disappears after just a few minutes, that probably means he’s not into you. If the conversation seems like it’s taking longer than a couple of minutes, politely excuse yourself. You can always find someone to go out with next time you’re ready. Meet Up with Friends Once you’ve met up with your friends, head over to a local bar and start asking around. You can ask for recommendations from friends or try to set up a blind date (more on that later). The best places for connecting with other singles are bars, nightclubs, and coffee shops. You can always use dating apps, but you’ll find the biggest and best pools of singles in bars. As a rule, it’s good to be aware of your safety while trying to meet people. Never go anywhere without a friend or a close relative (who can warn you should something untoward happen). Be ready to leave immediately if someone seems sketchy or dangerous. Get the perfect http://www.spicysingles.co.uk/articles/kinky-free-hookups-in-uk-top-facts-to-know-about-british-girls
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This post has been updated to include more recent stories, plus more context and additional resources for readers. But the main idea, that dating feels intimidating, isn’t going anywhere. This is a timeless truth. This post is part of a BuzzFeed series of deep-dive, roundtable reporting on modern dating. Read more here. No one should be intimidated by dating. It should be exciting and fun—a way to find yourself that is more authentic, genuine, and ultimately worthwhile than any other dating option on the menu. The fact that dating can be intimidating is borne out of a few unfortunate truths: 1) it’s made up of people and not robots, 2) there isn’t an algorithm behind it, and 3) some people may not be interested in your company, in which case you’d be better off finding another way to pass the time until you meet someone. But while you might think dating is difficult, it doesn’t have to be. Steps to conquer dating anxiety in five simple steps: 1. Know yourself. If you’re dating or planning on dating in the near future, know yourself a little better. Find out who you are—what you like, what you’re good at, what you love, and what gets you excited. In order to be someone’s first or third or fifth date, you need to be confident in who you are as a person. This is as true now as it was 20 years ago. If you are currently single and feeling at all nervous about the dating process, I’d encourage you to look back on things you’ve done in the past—dating profile pictures, day-to-day interactions—and analyze what you are doing and why you are doing it. Knowing your own dating preferences, passions, and personality will help you have more fun on your dates and with the people you meet along the way. When you take the time to learn yourself, you’ll be better prepared to have an easy time in this dating game. 2. Get comfortable with first- and third-date situations. While you may be relieved to no longer worry about the dreaded first-date, the false sense of security created by having a second date is often shattered by a first kiss or first date, when suddenly you’ll realize that you really don’t know anything about your potential date. Don’t forget that you are getting to know this person and they are getting to know you in the same way. If that isn’t clear enough, practice!

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