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Getting in the dating mindset is the first step; the second step is to hone your date preferences. You don’t have to be an excellent conversationalist to impress, but it helps—not only to ingratiate yourself to the other person, but to shine a light on your own talents and interests and to let your personality shine through.
Photo by Adam Luksa for Gizmodo.
Meet Up
If you’re looking for a real connection, there are so many dating apps out there these days that it’s no wonder that people are falling back on the tried-and-true “meet up” method. Groups of friends meet up to chat or to hit the town, usually after work or during the week—it’s not an ideal night out, but it can be a fun way to meet new people.
Most Facebook groups are great resources for finding people in your area, but you can also find thousands of independent groups for all sorts of common interests, from professional blogs to groups for car enthusiasts, nerds, and even more nerdy groups.
Use these groups to start the conversation with the people you think would be fun to talk to, then proceed from there to find a meet-up that suits everyone. It’s an easy way to start a conversation and a good excuse to get out.
Mingle
If you’re looking for a real connection, you might consider taking a class. Most people have a handful of common interests and go through the same mundane routines every day. Most of us have some common goals in life (for example, we want to have a good job, get married, and have kids) and the same kind of bad habits (for example, we like to cheat on our wives, hang out late at night, and keep late hours). You’re bound to hit it off with someone who has the same sort of problems as you.
There are a few things to keep in mind when you’re looking for a class: First, if you have a hobby you like and want to take it up with a friend, that’s fine. In fact, let’s say that you’re friends with someone and he or she is interested in learning guitar—you should tell your friend about your interest in guitar and suggest starting a small group. There are clubs for guitarists, drummers, and even singers, but you’ll need to find the right place and see if they need more members.
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Since everyone’s mileage is different, you need to decide for yourself what makes you feel comfortable and confident. We’ve gathered some tips and advice here, but you might consider these to be just a few good reasons to give it a try!
The big, broad purpose of dating is to connect and build relationships. That being said, dating in the era of the Internet has changed a lot in the last 10-15 years. It’s a big part of who you are as a person that matters when connecting with people (often much more so than what you’re wearing, what car you drive, or what job you do). Don’t be afraid to let yourself be more authentic with people you’re dating—both online and off—because it will give you a chance to connect with someone on a deeper, more vulnerable level.
1. A Good Sense of Humor is Your Best Weapon
Is there any situation in life that needs a little levity? I would argue that dating is a good candidate for that, and I would go so far as to say that your sense of humor is probably more important than your sense of direction. Seriously—it’s how you interact with people on a day-to-day basis, not just your first date. Consider your online dating profile (or even if you have one!), and make sure it’s accompanied by a joke. If you’re not a big person, make a big person joke. If you’re a good one, it’ll reflect your personality. Consider that making a joke about your first date might be a little forward (but I’m betting it’s not), so maybe this is your chance to be the one to make the first joke, regardless of how uncomfortable you feel. After all, you only get one chance to make an impression in the beginning, and if you’re not yourself, it’s tough to be yourself and everyone you meet.
2. A Good Sense of Humor—Online as Well as In Person—is Important
In an era when the majority of communication with potential dates is through the Internet, it becomes even more important to make sure you are your best self online. Don’t worry: Online dating is still hard, and there are plenty of dating sites to choose from. But you have to be your best self—good or bad—while talking to potential dates. You can do this by keeping a picture of yourself on your profile, and by making sure your profile has a good writing style and is free of spelling errors (