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We’ve put together a list of tips for putting yourself out there and fending off creepy guys. These tips are by no means an exhaustive list, but they’re the ones that worked for us when we were looking for love.

Check Your Instincts

When you think about dating, what comes to mind? Maybe it’s a big milestone like your 25th or 30th birthday. Maybe it’s a time when you’re trying to move on from a bad relationship. Maybe you’re asexual or gay, and you’re not really looking for love. There are a lot of possibilities.

Before you dive in, think about what draws you to other people, and what makes you feel like that person might not be the right one. You know that feeling when you’re just about to grab the steering wheel and someone says “Don’t do it, it’s too fast,” or “YOLO, you might die today”? That’s the feeling you have when you’re about to date someone and your instincts are telling you something isn’t right.

If you’re feeling this way, it’s important to stop and take a step back. Dating can be scary and a little intimidating, but you’ll only find love if you’re sure of who you are. It’s hard to date if you’re only looking for someone to sleep with and hook up with. You want someone who will be honest with you about what they’re looking for from a relationship, too.

The best way to find that person is to think about what you’re looking for, and the moment you think you might be attracted to someone. If something about them feels familiar, or if you have an inkling that this is the person you were meant to meet, it’s time to stop yourself. It’s not worth getting on an airplane ride if you’re convinced you’re going to crash, so why take a chance when it comes to dating?

Take the time to check in with your instincts, and make sure there aren’t any red flags that might be pointing to you being on your own, or potentially on the wrong track in your search.

You Need to Know What You’re Looking For

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Dating in a Sexless Post-Grammy, Twilight-Belle Era

Dating online seems to be the trend among young adults—with the latest stats coming out just a few weeks ago showing that nearly a third of people between the ages of 18 and 24 use online dating, and singles between ages 18 and 34 are growing the fastest—more than 90% of people in that demographic are already using some form of online dating, and as of 2012, dating apps are by far the most-used dating site. There’s a boatload of online dating sites out there—I’ve tried most of them, and they’re all different in their own ways—but for some reason, I find myself using OkCupid the most often. I know a lot of people have an aversion to online dating, mostly because they think it’s a “safer” way to go about things, but I just find it to be a bit more streamlined and personalized, and I don’t have to wait a few days to hear back from people. There are several strengths to OkCupid, and the one that’s most important to me is that I can sort potential matches by things like age, height, and location. This is a huge priority for me, because I live in the city where everyone has a good memory (no, really, look around you), and I want to find someone who’s older but more mature, or younger but equally so, so I can be sure that age won’t be a dealbreaker.

During a casual date, you probably won’t need to share so much about yourself, but I’m a major tea drinker and I love to put a little something extra into the tea bags I use when I make chai tea blends, so I always turn my profile into a little story, and I make sure to mention it in the About section. It helps me stand out because it shows that I’m a nice person who’s not afraid to put some thought into my tea, even if it’s just a bit of flourish. The worst thing that can happen during a date with a stranger is that she or he gets to know you a little too well, and so being in control of that—and having the confidence to know yourself and your idiosyncrasies—is half the battle. [Read: How To Answer A Question By Emulating A Very Picky Person]

Creating Your Profile, One Page At A Time

Right when you sign up for an online dating service,

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